Listening to the Call: Finding Peace in the Noise

“If you would just listen, I wouldn’t have to yell so loud!”

I screamed these words at my two 14 month-apart, thick as thieves children the other day. They are always up to something. If they aren’t fighting each other, they are tag-teaming arguing with and whining at me. At least it seems that way sometimes.

Then, almost immediately after these words left my mouth in a holler, I took a breath and tears began to flow. If I’m honest, the tears weren’t coming because I felt terrible for losing it the way that I did or even, for that matter, because of the sheer exhaustion that accompanies motherhood. Sure, I felt those things. But they weren’t what brought me to tears.

Tears streamed down my face because as soon as I let myself take a breath, I heard the Holy Spirit say, “Touché, Christy!”

All of the sudden, I heard the Holy Spirit asking me the same question: “Why don’t you listen to me? Why do I have to take drastic measures for you to hear my voice amidst the noise?”

Then, I was catapulted to the reality that amidst so many chaotic seasons in my life, God is calling me to listen to Him and to follow— to use the talents He has given me to glorify Him and show others love.

“Why does it take a hurricane sweeping through the city for you to go outside and meet your neighbor?” “Why does it take hitting rock bottom for you to see clearly?” “Why does it take hours of staring at a screen looking for satisfaction and peace only to realize it is only I who can satisfy?”

These thoughts tumbled through my mind as I held my kids whom I was screaming at only moments before, and then it hit me: All of the chaos comes in waves. It is season after season in this life here on Earth, and when we take just a simple breath and let God tap us on the shoulder — or scream at us as He sometimes has to do— we can see the immense gifts that exist in this life even amidst all the noise.

I know this season of chaos will pass far too quickly and I will miss it one day soon. My oldest is about to be 13– I’m still wrapping my head around how we got here this fast. So the reality that this time is fleeting is far too real. And I don’t want to miss it. I don’t want to squander the gifts God has given me— in my family and in my talents for floral design. I want to use every season to glorify God and to bring His love and joy to others.

I read a devotion from Blessed is She the other day, and the author used the phrase “through the lense of eternity.” That’s it, I thought! We have eternity to look through. All of these seasons are bringing us there— we just need to walk through them one season at a time and remember that through the screaming and shouting, the mundane of everyday life, and the many crosses we bear, it is eternity we are fighting for. It is US that Christ is fighting for, and He has already won! We just need to focus on Him.

In the Catholic tradition, the month of November is a time dedicated to focusing on eternity in a special way. We remember and pray for all of the faithfully departed. It reminds us that we are still connected to those who have died and that one day we too will die and enter into eternity. It reminds us that these seasons here on Earth are fleeting but eternity remains.

Each week, I get a text or two asking me if I can do a funeral arrangement. I imagine those texts are hard for the loved ones of the deceased to send. I know the time of loss is painful. But when I get them, I want to respond, “YES! Those are my favorite!”

I know that is NOT the response the grieving family wants to get, so I refrain, and simply offer my condolences and assure them I will do my best to honor them and their loved one through my work. But funeral arrangements really are a favorite of mine. They offer me an opportunity to pray for the soul of the departed. They offer me an opportunity to show love to those who are grieving. They offer me an opportunity to use my gifts to be just a little part of ushering that soul into eternity. And it means the world to me.

I also find it so beautiful that the way the Catholic Church’s calendar is set, the month of remembering the dead is followed immediately by the Advent Season— the beginning of the Church’s New Year. It is a time of hope and of waiting, reminding us that our hope is in Christ and this world is not our home. We simply live here for a season until God calls us home.

I want to thank you for entrusting me with your floral needs. Just as flowers grow and change through the seasons, the seasons of our lives offer us opportunities each day to remember the moments — in life and in death. Thank you for inviting me into your moments. Thank you for allowing me to honor you in moments of celebration and in moments of sorrow.

May we always remember that it is in Christ that we find our peace and our purpose— for now and for all eternity.